Quack!

I will try to keep this updated with all the completed works. It shouldn't be too hard.

I predominantly write Supernatural (bottom!Dean), with a strong leaning towards noncon and sub Dean. I ship Dean with pretty much everyone, although I write mainly Sam/Dean, and Cas/Dean.

( Supernatural )

( Sherlock )

( Glee )

Well.

I am just on my way to bed (since it is almost midnight) but this is to say that I am going to TRY and be around more.

I have missed you all!

I have been working from home (and not missing commuting at all...) and so I am going to try make a little more 'me' time in between all the stuff that has been keeping me busy.

so what's up for the duck?

- my contract is due to finish in July, but even though university's are losing people left right and centre I should be extended to the end of the year. This is 50% good, 50% bad. Good to have a job, bad because I am not 100% sure how I feel about the job.
- I desperately need to write a research paper
- but I would rather write fic! which I am not doing either... but I have a whole lotta stuff on my to write list! lots of poly and wincestiel. cos that is where I am at
- things are just starting loosen up in time for my birthday, so I think I will have a dinner party with 5 guests, and then maybe another get together the next weekend. Ugh I don't knooooooow
- I've been cooking a bit more, since I don't have 3 hours commuting each day, that rocks!
- I need to clean my house, oh how I need to clean it.
- basically I need to get more organised, and prioritise doing stuff that is good for me (mentally/emotionally/physically) and use my down time more effectively.

uhh ok it's midnight, I am off to bed. but I will talk soon!

I think what I miss most about tumblr, is that people actually interacted with me.

I try - I try so hard! - in these other forums, but I have always given out much more than I get back (like comments... *squinty eyes*). On the whole it's not a big deal - it's really not! Or at least... it only is when I am feeling bad anyway. On line has this way of making people, or if we are being specific, me feel invisible.

That is kind of my biggest issue in real life - to feel invisible, boring, unheard.

*ponders*

Anyway, the point of that is I am back to trying to be more engaged again. Maybe some of the problem is I have spread myself so thin. Dreamwidth, LJ, Twitter, Pillowfort, Discord... each taking up time and space. And trying to do them all means I do none.

The thing is, there are some people I only talk to one *one* of those. And I lost enough people when I dropped tumblr. Do I really want to do it again? (actually and FB and email. I can think of two fandom friends I only have on email). siiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Obviously I am feeling low. Some of it is the job search. It's demoralising. So demoralising. All I want to do is stay up late and sleep the day away, but then when I get up late (even if late is 9am or 10am) I feel like I have lost the whole day, because I am actually a morning person.

I am also struggling with writing - this has always been an issue actually, because my writing brain switches on about 10.30pm which is when I actually want to be in bed. Because I need to get up in the morning. *sighs* it's not the only reason I am not getting any writing done, but it is part of it.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow the power is off from 8.30 til 12.30. SO I will walk to where I can drop my compost off (even though I didn't go to the other place today. Just... a 30min walk in each direction is so far, especially when it is raining). So I will go to the place I know, then go and get snacks, and then come home and since I have no internet it will be hard to get sidetracked by things like how to americans pronounce buoy.

I joined skillshare (let me know if you want a code for two free months, or a link) because I desperately want to try acrylic pouring, but what I actually think is going to happen is I will wait until I go home because I don't want to buy a blowtorch just for that. Although if they run a class I will totally sign up. TOTALLY. Ok I got sidetracked - which is half the problem you know. I have so many things I want to do, and I am getting NONE of them done.

ugh.

ok I am just wasting time instead of going to bed. Hope you are all doing well.

Here's hoping tomorrow is positive and (for me) filled with one completed job application and many words.

It's the second week of the month and I haven't done any writing yet.

I have thought on it! But I actually got some paid work, and that kinda takes precedent... and then it's SO HOT that when I am not working on the paid stuff I am downstairs lying like a blob in front of the fan.

I still have a whole lotta stuff I want to write this year! That I do.

I think I said I finally booked my ticket home? It's weird when you do that it's like time speeds up and suddenly you are out of time? Truth: some of it is because there are a few things that I want/need to do that involve driving and I hate driving. Well... not so much driving, but parking. I hate parking.

Only 5 cards left to arrive... at least the first one has reached the US.

I actually forgot to apply for a policy position. It closed last night, 11.55pm but it just dropped off my radar. It was annoying realising I had missed it, but oh well. Just means there is another job around the corner.

When I get this data finished, I am going to spend my computer time fluttering between writing things and applying for jobs. Both are good.

It was interesting looking at photos from 10 years ago and today ala that facebook how have you aged thing. My 30s haven't been so bad for my face.

uh. I guess that is all. I wish I could be more focused and just get all the things done. Why... why is it so harddddd?

2018 was a hard year for me - I was extremely busy and traveling, and injured, and it meant I did not have a lot of time and energy to write.

But!

I still managed to get a few things posted

Title: Soft and Sweet and Totally Mine
Pairing: Dean Winchester/Gabriel
Word count: 455
Rating: T
Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Mild Humour, omega!dean, Omega!Gabriel
Summary: Gabriel doesn’t need an alpha. All he needs is Dean.
My comments: I love debriel and I don't write a lot of it (well, definitely not enough). But here we have angel verse and omega/omega action.

Title: The Fresh Scent of Paper
Pairing: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Word count: 3111
Rating: R
Tags/Warnings: ABO, Consent Issues, Knotting, slick, Alpha!Sam, omega!dean, happy ending (for Sam just assume it is happy for Dean too), Spanking, Orgasm Denial, Team Dean's Red Ass, Manhandling, dub con
Summary: Sam’s acceptance to Stanford is burning a hole in his pocket. He’s a legal Alpha now, and able to make his own decisions. Even if it means leaving the one person he loves behind. But then some alpha thugs break in and that’s when Sam realises that perhaps he can have everything
My comments: a fic for the SMPC. I forget how... many people don't just take fics as being a bit of fantasy. This one definitely has consent issues, but you know what? I like consent issues. I even tag it as consent issues. I also like it when someone is "made to like it" (see those consent issues), without having to explore the ramifications of that. *sniff* Anyway! the comments weren't thaaaat bad, but damn skippy!

Title: Happy Families
Pairing: implied Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Word count: 1009
Rating: T
Tags/Warnings:
Humour, mild dub con, No Sex, Manhandling, Teasing, fbi/mafia, implied future sex, Sibling Rivalry, Domestic, Happy families, Human AU
Summary: From a prompt for spn_masquerade: Dean/Sam, FBI agent/criminal, hatebanging
Human AU. Sam’s a Fed. Dean’s tied up in the crime world. That makes for awkward family dinners. Lots of animosity there that they work through via fucking hard.
My comments: this was just a bit of fun. I am fairly sure the OP wanted something a bit more... full on angst that what I wrote, but this is meant to be funny, and I think it is funny!

Title: The Deanosaur (chapter 5)
Pairing: gen (but background Gabriel/Sam Winchester)
Word count: 4429
Rating: G
Tags/Warnings:Little!Dean, Big Brother Sam, Fluff, cuteness, Alternate Universe
Summary: From the prompt: Little!Dean tries really hard but gets angry at himself when he can’t read things properly, or when the teacher laughs at him for writing his name as ‘bean’ instead of ‘dean’
extra tags for this chapter: bullying, learning disability, little!Dean, kid!Dean, kidfic, reading
My comments: true story: I love this series. It just makes me so happy to write. And there is more planned for next year.

Title: Friends with Fins (and Tentacles Too)
Pairing: pre wincestiel
Word count: 3972
Rating: T
Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Romance, Humour, Mer!AU, pre slash, Lonely!Cas, Tentacles, Emotions, courting, courting gifts, Sweet!Dean, Sweet!Cas, protective!Sam, Mer!Sam, Mer!Dean, octo!cas
Summary: Dean has been the provider all his life. He’s looked after his little brother - and he’s done a damn good job of it! But now Sam is more than capable of looking after himself, and where does that leave Dean? One day, Dean finds himself swept out past the mer village, and past the hunting grounds, into a place that no mer ever goes. And maybe… just maybe there lies the answer.
My comments: this was written for a fic exchange and it was a challenge! the OP said they liked aus (and did mention a mer au) but left no actual prompts. So this is what happened, and I kinda love it! Wincestiel is one of those pairings that I LOVE but never really do enough of. This year might have more wincestiel! but this has cutie pies all round. It was fun!

Title: To Woo A Loved One
Pairing: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Word count: 2976
Rating: M
Tags/Warnings: bunkerfic, Nesting, Courtship, Oblivious!Dean, a/b/o dynamics, omega!dean, Alpha!Sam, Sam POV, Dean POV, Blow Jobs, Rimming, slick
Summary: Moving into the bunker changed life for the Winchesters in all sorts of ways. Happily, they were all good.
My comments: My last fic of the year - posted new years eve for SMPC. fairly fluffy abo. ok, VERY fluffy ABO. with oblivious Dean who is MY FAVOURITE Dean. well... one of them.

I am currently working on it and fixing it up... but is anyone able to have a quick edit of a gift fic? It's T rated pre wincestiel, and meant to be humourous/fluffy? (I am posting this everywhere to find someone xD)

Title: Deans not Beans

Pairing: Gen with background Sabriel

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Gabriel, OC (original cat)

Tags/Warnings: bullying, learning disability, little!Dean, kid!Dean, kidfic, reading, mild angst

Summary: From the prompt: Little!Dean tries really hard but gets angry at himself when he can’t read things properly, or when the teacher laughs at him for writing his name as ‘bean’ instead of ‘dean’

a/n: this is the 5th chapter of The Deanosaur. Each chapter is stand alone but they are all pretty delightful.

The tour starts on Saturday - there is a seven hour drive up the coast. But I am not going with.

It's not all bad! But let me back up.

I think all I have been doing is complaining about my injuries, right? So after I hurt my ankle, it was getting better but then I exacerbated it, and then I hurt my left hip. Groin? I don't even know. Anyway, working has been a massive, massive issue. Or I have a good day, then I have two bad days. It's not great.

(which reminds me, I need to get my physio to write something to that affect. Because... hang on, getting ahead again). anyway, long story short, I am going home for a couple of weeks to recover, then joining them for only two weeks of the tour. And honestly? It's gonna be for the best. I am going to get almost two full weeks at home! To lie in sunbeams with a dog on my belly!

I am going to try and get a physio note that says I have every second day off too, because this is ridiculous. But at the same time, it's gonna put everyone out. Gah. see? I am struggling with this! Joining late is DEFINITELY for the best because physically I am a mess.

So some rest to try and fix my leg to be good enough to do the tour.

Uhhh what else? Uni is killing me. oh I have passed everything so far, which is all sorts of awesome, so I will take that :) but there is just so much.

I also put in for a grad position with a gov department and I have the first round of interviews. It's a video interview, with not live questions, due this weekend, so I will do that on Saturday or Sunday. IT would mean I get to stay in Canberra, so I like that a lot!

uuhhh. yeah I have mainly been sore and sooky. I have to work hard on my shows because I have hardly done any (and a few of them suck, so I will write my reflections and do better I guess :)

anyway I should be writing an assignment but I will try to write fic instead. wish my luck!

ps let me know what is up! because I am so out of the loop my friends