Held you All Night Long
Aug. 24th, 2014 10:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
majestic_duxkPairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Kinks: top Sam, bottom Dean, sam/dean, crying Dean, hurt/comfort, cuddles, touch, comfort sex, gentle sex, love, schmoop, established relationship, mild come play, wincest
Summary: Dean is really upset, he’s even crying, so much that he can’t fall asleep despite the fact that he’s already been awake and in action for more than twenty hours.
Sam tries to comfort him first with words, then with loving touches and kisses; when Dean still won't calm down Sam fucks him slow and gently until Dean comes and afterwards finally feels better and falls asleep in Sam's arms.
a/n: This didn't quite work how I wanted... but you have to post the good with the bad, right? Also, I was in a rush and named it the wrong thing on the meme! Oh well :-)
This was a new situation for him.
And Sam was perplexed. No. More than perplexed. Worried. Sam was worried.
It had been demons. It was always demons. (Well, except when it was ghosts, or witches, or shifters. Or vampires. Werewolves. Djinn…).
This time though, it was demons.
And things had gone well. For once. And that, perhaps, should have clued Sam in.
There had been a lot. But somehow they’d easily disposed of them. When it was down to the last two, Sam had slain his with the demon blade. He turned, ready to toss the blade to Dean, who was still, just staring at the demon in front of him. As Sam watched, the demons’ mouth moved to Dean’s ear, whispering God knows what lies. As his brother seemed to sag between one breath and the next Sam was there, sticking the knife in.
The demon was gone, but the damage had been done. Dean’s body was bowed towards the floor.
“Dean?”
No response.
“Dean!”
Still no response. Sam dropped beside his brother. Touching one shoulder, he jerked back as Dean started, arms flailing towards Sam. What was the most surprising, was the sheen of tears across Dean’s eyes. That scared Sam more than anything. That was not usual. What the fuck had the demon done?
“We got them Dean. The demons are all gone now.” At his brother’s obvious distress, Sam’s voice naturally fell into softly spoken words. “We can go now. They can’t hurt you now.”
It seemed to work. Dean blinked rapidly for a few seconds, before his eyes focused on Sam.
And then tears started flowing rapidly. Sam watched in astonishment as they pooled in the corner of Dean’s eyes before overflowing, leaving shining track marks down his face.
Shaking his head rapidly, dispelling his stupor, Sam pulled Dean towards him, his arm around his waist, hand at his side, supporting him and helping him stand. What was going on? Was Dean hurt? Dean never cried!
Worried, Sam didn’t know what to do. Regardless, he had to get them both out of there.
“C’mon Dean, let’s get back to the motel.”
Dean didn’t even bother arguing, although he shrugged off Sam’s helping hand. That was good, Sam told himself. That was normal Dean.
Not so normal Dean was the way tears kept leaking. And the almost eerie silence as Dean stared off into space. Biting his lip, Sam dipped his hand into Dean’s pocket. Obviously Dean wasn’t up for driving. He herded his brother into the car, opening the door and ushering his brother in, although he got his hand slapped when he tried to do up Dean’s seatbelt.
That was ok. That was good, Sam kept telling himself. It had just been a long day. They’d been up for, what? 18, 20 hours? It was enough to send anyone a little loopy. Dean would be fine when he got some sleep.
--
Dean wasn’t fine when they pulled into the parking lot, but he was no worse either. The tears hadn’t stopped, but other than that he seemed the same. Still, Sam was quick to come round to the passenger side, a hand under Dean’s elbow as he ushered them to the room. He quickly cleared his bed of weapons (there was too much junk on Dean’s bed), before leading Dean over. Dean was quiet and amenable.
But the tears didn’t stop.
Maybe he just needed a few minutes to pull himself together? Gripping his brothers shoulder, Sam went about clearing off Dean’s bed, putting things in the duffel, moving them to the table. It didn’t take long, although it was long enough that there should have been some improvement to Dean.
But there wasn’t.
“I’ll… I’ll just get you some water. Stay there.”
Not that he needed to say anything. Dean wasn’t going anywhere. Sam grabbed a glass, filling it at the bathroom sink. A quick look in the mirror showed he was covered with dust. Dean wasn’t much better off. Sam bit his lip. He needed a shower. He’d check on Dean one more time. He would be ok.
Walking back into the bedroom, Dean was still in the same spot. And just as covered with dust. Right. Dean could have a shower after Sam.
“Dean?” No response. “Dean.”
Slowly Dean raised his head, tear blown eyes piercing through Sam’s heart. He placed the water on the dresser.
“Got water for you, Dean. Just going to have a quick shower. I’m filthy.” Sam cracked a smile, but there was no response. He cleared his throat. “Maybe lie down? Don’t worry about the sheets, just… I’ll be back soon.”
Dean didn’t respond, but this time Sam wasn’t expecting a response.
He also wasn’t expected Dean to be sobbing into his pillow when he stepped out of the shower ten minutes later.
Dean was doing his best to be quiet – and succeeding to a certain degree, Sam certainly hadn’t heard him in the bathroom – but the shuddering of his shoulders, the muffled sobs… they broke Sam’s heart.
Sam quickly made his way over to the bed, sitting beside his distressed brother.
“Dean… can you tell me what’s wrong? Talk to me.”
Dean simply turned his back towards Sam and clutched the pillow tighter.
Ok. So Dean wasn’t up to talking. That meant Sam needed to say something. Something nice. Helpful…
“Dean. It’s ok. We’re back. I don’t know what that demon said to you, but you’re here. With me. And it’s ok.”
If anything Dean seemed to sob harder. Not the response Sam was going for. Sam bit his lip, before lowering himself to the bed, lying beside Dean. Not touching him – Sam wasn’t sure if Dean wanted to be touched - just sort of, being there. A steady presence. He started to speak softly.
“It’s been a long day, hasn’t it? Don’t know about you… but I’m pretty tired. What say we just sleep here? You tired, Dean?”
It was a silly question. Dean was obviously tired. Even before he’d started crying, he’d had dark circles under his eyes, evidence of more than a few nights of broken sleep. Normal Dean would snark at Sam, a response that Sam desperately wanted at the moment. Just some hint that his brother was ok.
But nothing. No response. Just the heart wrenching sounds of his brother weeping.
Uncertain what to do, Sam just started talking. He wanted to soothe his brother, fix what was broken. He didn’t know what was wrong, but he didn’t stop the words spilling out of his mouth.
“You’re a good person, Dean. Your heart is always in the right place. I respect that. I admire that. And because of you, the world is a better place. You know that right? It’s a thankless job, but you make the world safer. You’re so brave. I know it isn’t always easy, but once the chips are down, you’re in it for the long run. You care so much about other people…”
Sam paused. It’d been a rough few weeks. They’d had a stupid fight and hadn’t been talking much, let along doing anything else. Sam’d missed Dean in his arms, and Dean probably felt the same? Maybe that was the problem? Pursing his lips, Sam reached across the divide the brothers had created for themselves. Pulling Dean into his arms, Dean’s back firmly against his chest, Dean’s bone deep sobs wracked Sam’s body as well.
Sam wrapped his arms around his brother, holding him as close as he could.
Sam kept babbling, slow soothing words of love and tenderness, one hand rubbing soft, slow circles on Dean’s back.
Despite the reason, Sam couldn’t help but feel glad he was holding his brother again. His head dropped, forehead nudging the back of Dean’s neck.
“I love you, Dean. It’s been hard lately, I know that. But I’m always here for you. Always.” Sam couldn’t keep the intensity out of his voice. He loved Dean.
For an indeterminable time, Sam kept the same gentle words, the same gentle movements. Dean kept the same full body sobbing. Maybe he just needs to cry it out? Sam thought to himself. And that was ok. It was hard seeing his brother like this, but he would give Dean whatever he needed.
--
They lay in relative silence, Dean’s gasping sobs the only sound. He still shuddered in Sam’s arms while Sam held him as securely as he could. Sam dropped a kiss to the back of Dean’s neck. It’d been over an hour since they first lay down, and Dean wasn’t slowing at all.
Easing himself away from Dean, Sam slid off the bed. He needed to grab a wash cloth, something to wipe the grime and the scent of demon off his brother.
“I’ll be right back, sweetheart.” Sam dropped another gentle kiss on Dean’s ear, before heading to the bathroom once more.
He wasn’t gone more than five minutes, but his return was met by Dean curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed, sobbing harder than before. He strode across the gap separating them, falling to the bed and pulling Dean into his arms.
“Shhhhh. It’s ok, Dean. I’m here. Sammy’s here…”
Sam rocked Dean in his arms. Thinking. So the body contact, the touch helped. Sam turned Dean’s face to his, laying a gentle kiss on his mouth. Through his sobbing, Dean opened his mouth, welcoming Sam.
Ah. That was the most responsive Dean had been since this started. Sam considered. Maybe Dean just needed more?
He shushed his brother again, with gentle words, informing him that he’d take care of him. He didn’t need to worry about anything. Sam slowly started to undress his brother. He turned Dean, so he faced towards him, and Sam’s heart broke at the swollen eyes and tear stained face. He kissed him again.
“Gonna take care of you, Dean. Just let Sammy take care of you.”
--
One shirt button at a time.
One shoulder eased off, so Sam could wipe the sweaty skin underneath, remove the dirt and grime from the day.
Kisses were laid down as each clean strip of flesh was revealed.
Sam worked in silence until Dean was naked, only then removing his own clothes, careful to keep touching Dean at all times – a hand on his shoulder, his shin pressed up against Dean’s calf. Eventually they were both naked. Dean’s cock lay soft against his thigh.
Sam’s didn’t. Sam was hard and currently poking along the crease of Dean’s ass.
Now is not the time, he sternly informed himself. You’ve waited a few weeks, you can wait longer. This is about Dean and what Dean needs.
Sam was a grown man. He could ignore it.
Dean though, didn’t. Whereas he’d been largely unresponsive for the past few hours, a rag doll in Sam’s arms, now he rocked himself back against Sam. Sam felt his eyebrows rise in surprise.
“Is that what you need, Dean?” He whispered in his brother’s ear. “Do you need me to take care of you?”
Although he didn’t respond with words, Dean seemed to press back harder against Sam. Figuring it was the closest he was going to get to an agreement, Sam decided to move slowly, given Dean ample time to react if he didn’t like something.
He didn’t know the best way to do this, the best way for Dean. But… given Dean’s lack of response, Sam decided to take the time to do something he’d always held back.
Sam kissed the back of Dean’s neck. “Love your neck. Love it when it has my marks.” Sam didn’t mark Dean up though, just placed gentle, open mouthed kisses, until Dean turned his head towards Sam. Sam leaned in and nuzzled at his lips.
“Love your lips Dean. Especially love them when they’re smiling. Love seeing you happy, Dean. Love making you happy.”
Sam licked at the tears trapped at the corner of Dean’s mouth. “Love your eyes. If eyes are the window to the soul, you have a beautiful soul, Dean.” Sam caught himself before Dean’s breath did so much as catch. “And even when I can’t see it, you have a beautiful soul. You are an amazing person Dean. I am so lucky to have you. So lucky that you’re mine.”
Dean’s head rolled away, but Sam didn’t stop. He just kissed the back of Dean’s neck again. “Thank you, Dean. Thank you for letting me take care of you.”
Sam let his hand ghost down Dean’s face, pausing at his shoulders. “I love your strong, wide shoulders. I love that their broad enough to carry me when I need it. Broad enough for me to cry one.” Sam couldn’t help but squeeze his crying brother closer at that. He kissed Dean’s shoulder before letting his fingers drift round to Dean’s chest, pausing at his nipples.
“I love these,” he told Dean sincerely. “I love how responsive they are. I love seeing them get hard under your shirt when you’re cold, or feel them get hard in my mouth when I suck them…” was that a small groan? Sam took it as encouragement. He rubbed gently, feeling one burgeon to a point, before transferring his fingers to the other, teasing it the same way.
While Dean hadn’t stopped crying, Sam felt like his sobs had decreased in volume. It seemed like Sam was on the right track, with how to help his brother. Sam peppered Dean’s ear and throat with kisses, before allowing his hand to drift lower.
Gently stroking across Dean’s soft belly, Sam informed him, “I love how soft you are here. I love to taste it and lick it and touch it.”
Laying his hand flat, he felt Dean’s juddering breaths. He just held Dean, breathing, hoping Dean would match his breathes with his. Sam willed calm into his brother. And while the sobs still wracked his body, it also felt like Dean had more control. Sam rewarded him with open mouthed kisses along his shoulder, before allowing his fingers to drift lower. He trailed his fingers lightly over Dean’s skin, missing Dean’s slightly interested cock, instead stopping to massage his inner thighs.
“Love your thighs, Dean,” Sam whispered. “I love how strong they are, how they flex when you ride me. I love how they look in jeans…” Dean’s thigh’s flexed in response to Sam’s words, his breath catching in a slight gasp. It was the first definite sound not associated with crying that Sam had heard in hours.
He smiled his relief, into the back of Dean’s head.
--
Sam kept lightly massaging his brothers thighs, occasionally running his fingers up and along Dean hips. Only when Dean thrust forward (such a tiny movement, but the way Sam was plastered to his brother, there was nothing Dean could do that Sam wouldn’t notice), did Sam finally - finally - placed his hand on Dean’s cock. It was hard now, hot and throbbing in his hand.
“I love your cock, Dean. I love its size, its shape… I love its taste. I love how you feel in my hand…” Sam let his fingers pass lightly across the tip, now weeping precome. Sam gathered it on his fingertips, slowly, gently working it down Dean’s length. “Love how hot and hard you are, Dean.”
Dean’s hips thrust more firmly, and Sam cupped his hand, creating a loose fist for Dean to slide through.
“Wanna come, Dean? Would that make you feel better?”
Dean thrust harder, gasping as Sam squeezed. Sam kept rhythmically squeezing until he felt Dean’s whole body tense, then with a sob Dean came.
--
Unfortunately it set the whole crying process off again.
--
Sam was at a loss. Dean had been crying for hours and nothing helped. Nothing. The only thing he hadn’t done was… oh. But wasn’t that selfish? Was it selfish if it was what Dean needed?
“Sorry, gorgeous. I wasn’t thinking. You never like coming alone. You’re so generous like that.” Sam pressed his lips to Dean’s shoulder, feeling the sobs still wracking his body. “Just one of the ways you are so generous and giving. Since you can’t talk at the moment So… I think you need more than that. I think you need me. Is that what you need, Dean? Need me to open you up, slowly and gently, before filling you up? Fill you up until you can’t think of anything else?”
Although he didn’t verbally respond, Dean pressed back into Sam. Sam took that as a yes.
--
Sam let his hand drift to Dean’s buttocks, feeling the firm curve with the back of his hand.
“You’re so beautiful, Dean.”
Dean cried in response.
Sam gently worked his leg between Dean’s, parting Dean’s buttocks, before running his finger along Dean’s cleft, before dipping to lightly brush a fingers across his hole. Dean probably wasn’t going to react well to Sam leaving the bed to go and get lube, so shrugging to himself he scraped Dean’s come off his hand, working it to his fingertips before softly pushing his come covered finger against Dean’s hole, rubbing in and around until he felt it relax, then with a little added pressure he felt the tip of one finger breach his brother.
“You open so beautifully for me, Dean. Can you feel the way you welcome my finger?”
And it was true. Dean had always opened up to Sam, and it would be so easy to take it from one fingertip to three fingers. But Sam took it slow. Using the one finger to rub around Dean’s rim, feeling it flutter and pulse. Pooling Dean’s come in has hand, pressing it into Dean’s welcoming hole. Only after Dean was loose and maybe, just maybe catching his breath in need rather than distress did Sam slowly add a second finger, once again stretching his brother oh so slowly. Stroking his hot walls, all the while whispering how good, how precious, how wonderful Dean was.
Dean’s primary response throughout all of this was to cry in Sam’s arms. Even after four fingers slowly and surely filled Dean, he still cried into his brothers arms. Sam just laid down kisses and praise and held him tight.
When Sam was certain Dean was loose enough to take him easily, he lifted Dean’s leg, before slotting himself in. He rubbed his cock head over Dean’s loose, puffy hole, not pressing in, just waiting.
Waiting…
Waiting for the slight push of Dean’s hips towards Sam.
And Sam’s patience was rewarded.
“Thank you, Dean.” Sam kissed Dean’s ear, before slowly pushing in, enjoying the firm caress of Dean’s inner walls, enjoying his heat. Enjoying the all-encompassing feeling that was Dean.
Although he didn’t speed up. Sam didn’t stop until he’d bottomed out, balls touching the curve of Dean’s ass.
And then he just waited.
Just felt the way he filled up Dean. Enjoyed the hot and the tight. And allowed Dean to feel the way Sam filled him.
“Always here for you, Dean. Always a part of you.”
Sam didn’t know how long he whispered sweet nothings in Dean’s ear. He just kept stroking Dean’s chest, his other hand rubbing circles along Dean’s inner thigh… He just kept touching his brother, whispering his love until finally - finally! - he felt the sobbing ease. Felt the way his brother relaxed, snuggling back against him.
Sam started to move then. Just small, tiny, miniscule hip thrusts. Just enough for Dean to feel it, to know that Sam was there, to tease at those sensitive points. Sam’s fingers paused as he felt Dean’s cock stir once more. Instead of reaching for Dean’s cock, Sam continued to gently rub his thigh, occasionally allowing his fingers to glance over Dean’s balls. Sam enjoyed the way Dean’s breath caught each time. Sam enjoyed the way Dean’s sobbing slowed as his cock hardened again.
“That’s it. You’re doing so well, Dean. So well taking me like this. It feels so good inside you Dean…”
Sam would have been happy just staying there all night. He didn’t need to get off, but Dean obviously had other intentions…
“Sammy!”
It was the first word Dean had spoken since he started crying hours early. And Sam was going to give Dean everything he asked for. Letting his had fall down to cup Dean’s balls, Sam didn’t allow himself to be rushed. He needed Dean to know how loved he was.
It was only when Dean sobbing was from want, not distress, did Sam move his hand to Dean’s cock. Sam had been ready to come, for what felt like hours, but it wasn’t until he felt Dean spasm in his hand, until Dean’s body shook in his arms, until Dean’s ass squeezed him deliciously tight, did Sam come.
--
It was quite a few moments before Sam realized that Dean has stopped shaking. Completely.
--
Dean’s come covered Sam’s hand and Dean’s belly. Really, Sam should move, get a cloth to clean them both. But he couldn’t. Not yet. Not now that Dean had finally drifted off to sleep, snug and safe in his arms. It could wait. Cleaning up could wait. Sam would just look after Dean tomorrow too.
Rating: R
Kinks: top Sam, bottom Dean, sam/dean, crying Dean, hurt/comfort, cuddles, touch, comfort sex, gentle sex, love, schmoop, established relationship, mild come play, wincest
Summary: Dean is really upset, he’s even crying, so much that he can’t fall asleep despite the fact that he’s already been awake and in action for more than twenty hours.
Sam tries to comfort him first with words, then with loving touches and kisses; when Dean still won't calm down Sam fucks him slow and gently until Dean comes and afterwards finally feels better and falls asleep in Sam's arms.
a/n: This didn't quite work how I wanted... but you have to post the good with the bad, right? Also, I was in a rush and named it the wrong thing on the meme! Oh well :-)
This was a new situation for him.
And Sam was perplexed. No. More than perplexed. Worried. Sam was worried.
It had been demons. It was always demons. (Well, except when it was ghosts, or witches, or shifters. Or vampires. Werewolves. Djinn…).
This time though, it was demons.
And things had gone well. For once. And that, perhaps, should have clued Sam in.
There had been a lot. But somehow they’d easily disposed of them. When it was down to the last two, Sam had slain his with the demon blade. He turned, ready to toss the blade to Dean, who was still, just staring at the demon in front of him. As Sam watched, the demons’ mouth moved to Dean’s ear, whispering God knows what lies. As his brother seemed to sag between one breath and the next Sam was there, sticking the knife in.
The demon was gone, but the damage had been done. Dean’s body was bowed towards the floor.
“Dean?”
No response.
“Dean!”
Still no response. Sam dropped beside his brother. Touching one shoulder, he jerked back as Dean started, arms flailing towards Sam. What was the most surprising, was the sheen of tears across Dean’s eyes. That scared Sam more than anything. That was not usual. What the fuck had the demon done?
“We got them Dean. The demons are all gone now.” At his brother’s obvious distress, Sam’s voice naturally fell into softly spoken words. “We can go now. They can’t hurt you now.”
It seemed to work. Dean blinked rapidly for a few seconds, before his eyes focused on Sam.
And then tears started flowing rapidly. Sam watched in astonishment as they pooled in the corner of Dean’s eyes before overflowing, leaving shining track marks down his face.
Shaking his head rapidly, dispelling his stupor, Sam pulled Dean towards him, his arm around his waist, hand at his side, supporting him and helping him stand. What was going on? Was Dean hurt? Dean never cried!
Worried, Sam didn’t know what to do. Regardless, he had to get them both out of there.
“C’mon Dean, let’s get back to the motel.”
Dean didn’t even bother arguing, although he shrugged off Sam’s helping hand. That was good, Sam told himself. That was normal Dean.
Not so normal Dean was the way tears kept leaking. And the almost eerie silence as Dean stared off into space. Biting his lip, Sam dipped his hand into Dean’s pocket. Obviously Dean wasn’t up for driving. He herded his brother into the car, opening the door and ushering his brother in, although he got his hand slapped when he tried to do up Dean’s seatbelt.
That was ok. That was good, Sam kept telling himself. It had just been a long day. They’d been up for, what? 18, 20 hours? It was enough to send anyone a little loopy. Dean would be fine when he got some sleep.
--
Dean wasn’t fine when they pulled into the parking lot, but he was no worse either. The tears hadn’t stopped, but other than that he seemed the same. Still, Sam was quick to come round to the passenger side, a hand under Dean’s elbow as he ushered them to the room. He quickly cleared his bed of weapons (there was too much junk on Dean’s bed), before leading Dean over. Dean was quiet and amenable.
But the tears didn’t stop.
Maybe he just needed a few minutes to pull himself together? Gripping his brothers shoulder, Sam went about clearing off Dean’s bed, putting things in the duffel, moving them to the table. It didn’t take long, although it was long enough that there should have been some improvement to Dean.
But there wasn’t.
“I’ll… I’ll just get you some water. Stay there.”
Not that he needed to say anything. Dean wasn’t going anywhere. Sam grabbed a glass, filling it at the bathroom sink. A quick look in the mirror showed he was covered with dust. Dean wasn’t much better off. Sam bit his lip. He needed a shower. He’d check on Dean one more time. He would be ok.
Walking back into the bedroom, Dean was still in the same spot. And just as covered with dust. Right. Dean could have a shower after Sam.
“Dean?” No response. “Dean.”
Slowly Dean raised his head, tear blown eyes piercing through Sam’s heart. He placed the water on the dresser.
“Got water for you, Dean. Just going to have a quick shower. I’m filthy.” Sam cracked a smile, but there was no response. He cleared his throat. “Maybe lie down? Don’t worry about the sheets, just… I’ll be back soon.”
Dean didn’t respond, but this time Sam wasn’t expecting a response.
He also wasn’t expected Dean to be sobbing into his pillow when he stepped out of the shower ten minutes later.
Dean was doing his best to be quiet – and succeeding to a certain degree, Sam certainly hadn’t heard him in the bathroom – but the shuddering of his shoulders, the muffled sobs… they broke Sam’s heart.
Sam quickly made his way over to the bed, sitting beside his distressed brother.
“Dean… can you tell me what’s wrong? Talk to me.”
Dean simply turned his back towards Sam and clutched the pillow tighter.
Ok. So Dean wasn’t up to talking. That meant Sam needed to say something. Something nice. Helpful…
“Dean. It’s ok. We’re back. I don’t know what that demon said to you, but you’re here. With me. And it’s ok.”
If anything Dean seemed to sob harder. Not the response Sam was going for. Sam bit his lip, before lowering himself to the bed, lying beside Dean. Not touching him – Sam wasn’t sure if Dean wanted to be touched - just sort of, being there. A steady presence. He started to speak softly.
“It’s been a long day, hasn’t it? Don’t know about you… but I’m pretty tired. What say we just sleep here? You tired, Dean?”
It was a silly question. Dean was obviously tired. Even before he’d started crying, he’d had dark circles under his eyes, evidence of more than a few nights of broken sleep. Normal Dean would snark at Sam, a response that Sam desperately wanted at the moment. Just some hint that his brother was ok.
But nothing. No response. Just the heart wrenching sounds of his brother weeping.
Uncertain what to do, Sam just started talking. He wanted to soothe his brother, fix what was broken. He didn’t know what was wrong, but he didn’t stop the words spilling out of his mouth.
“You’re a good person, Dean. Your heart is always in the right place. I respect that. I admire that. And because of you, the world is a better place. You know that right? It’s a thankless job, but you make the world safer. You’re so brave. I know it isn’t always easy, but once the chips are down, you’re in it for the long run. You care so much about other people…”
Sam paused. It’d been a rough few weeks. They’d had a stupid fight and hadn’t been talking much, let along doing anything else. Sam’d missed Dean in his arms, and Dean probably felt the same? Maybe that was the problem? Pursing his lips, Sam reached across the divide the brothers had created for themselves. Pulling Dean into his arms, Dean’s back firmly against his chest, Dean’s bone deep sobs wracked Sam’s body as well.
Sam wrapped his arms around his brother, holding him as close as he could.
Sam kept babbling, slow soothing words of love and tenderness, one hand rubbing soft, slow circles on Dean’s back.
Despite the reason, Sam couldn’t help but feel glad he was holding his brother again. His head dropped, forehead nudging the back of Dean’s neck.
“I love you, Dean. It’s been hard lately, I know that. But I’m always here for you. Always.” Sam couldn’t keep the intensity out of his voice. He loved Dean.
For an indeterminable time, Sam kept the same gentle words, the same gentle movements. Dean kept the same full body sobbing. Maybe he just needs to cry it out? Sam thought to himself. And that was ok. It was hard seeing his brother like this, but he would give Dean whatever he needed.
--
They lay in relative silence, Dean’s gasping sobs the only sound. He still shuddered in Sam’s arms while Sam held him as securely as he could. Sam dropped a kiss to the back of Dean’s neck. It’d been over an hour since they first lay down, and Dean wasn’t slowing at all.
Easing himself away from Dean, Sam slid off the bed. He needed to grab a wash cloth, something to wipe the grime and the scent of demon off his brother.
“I’ll be right back, sweetheart.” Sam dropped another gentle kiss on Dean’s ear, before heading to the bathroom once more.
He wasn’t gone more than five minutes, but his return was met by Dean curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed, sobbing harder than before. He strode across the gap separating them, falling to the bed and pulling Dean into his arms.
“Shhhhh. It’s ok, Dean. I’m here. Sammy’s here…”
Sam rocked Dean in his arms. Thinking. So the body contact, the touch helped. Sam turned Dean’s face to his, laying a gentle kiss on his mouth. Through his sobbing, Dean opened his mouth, welcoming Sam.
Ah. That was the most responsive Dean had been since this started. Sam considered. Maybe Dean just needed more?
He shushed his brother again, with gentle words, informing him that he’d take care of him. He didn’t need to worry about anything. Sam slowly started to undress his brother. He turned Dean, so he faced towards him, and Sam’s heart broke at the swollen eyes and tear stained face. He kissed him again.
“Gonna take care of you, Dean. Just let Sammy take care of you.”
--
One shirt button at a time.
One shoulder eased off, so Sam could wipe the sweaty skin underneath, remove the dirt and grime from the day.
Kisses were laid down as each clean strip of flesh was revealed.
Sam worked in silence until Dean was naked, only then removing his own clothes, careful to keep touching Dean at all times – a hand on his shoulder, his shin pressed up against Dean’s calf. Eventually they were both naked. Dean’s cock lay soft against his thigh.
Sam’s didn’t. Sam was hard and currently poking along the crease of Dean’s ass.
Now is not the time, he sternly informed himself. You’ve waited a few weeks, you can wait longer. This is about Dean and what Dean needs.
Sam was a grown man. He could ignore it.
Dean though, didn’t. Whereas he’d been largely unresponsive for the past few hours, a rag doll in Sam’s arms, now he rocked himself back against Sam. Sam felt his eyebrows rise in surprise.
“Is that what you need, Dean?” He whispered in his brother’s ear. “Do you need me to take care of you?”
Although he didn’t respond with words, Dean seemed to press back harder against Sam. Figuring it was the closest he was going to get to an agreement, Sam decided to move slowly, given Dean ample time to react if he didn’t like something.
He didn’t know the best way to do this, the best way for Dean. But… given Dean’s lack of response, Sam decided to take the time to do something he’d always held back.
Sam kissed the back of Dean’s neck. “Love your neck. Love it when it has my marks.” Sam didn’t mark Dean up though, just placed gentle, open mouthed kisses, until Dean turned his head towards Sam. Sam leaned in and nuzzled at his lips.
“Love your lips Dean. Especially love them when they’re smiling. Love seeing you happy, Dean. Love making you happy.”
Sam licked at the tears trapped at the corner of Dean’s mouth. “Love your eyes. If eyes are the window to the soul, you have a beautiful soul, Dean.” Sam caught himself before Dean’s breath did so much as catch. “And even when I can’t see it, you have a beautiful soul. You are an amazing person Dean. I am so lucky to have you. So lucky that you’re mine.”
Dean’s head rolled away, but Sam didn’t stop. He just kissed the back of Dean’s neck again. “Thank you, Dean. Thank you for letting me take care of you.”
Sam let his hand ghost down Dean’s face, pausing at his shoulders. “I love your strong, wide shoulders. I love that their broad enough to carry me when I need it. Broad enough for me to cry one.” Sam couldn’t help but squeeze his crying brother closer at that. He kissed Dean’s shoulder before letting his fingers drift round to Dean’s chest, pausing at his nipples.
“I love these,” he told Dean sincerely. “I love how responsive they are. I love seeing them get hard under your shirt when you’re cold, or feel them get hard in my mouth when I suck them…” was that a small groan? Sam took it as encouragement. He rubbed gently, feeling one burgeon to a point, before transferring his fingers to the other, teasing it the same way.
While Dean hadn’t stopped crying, Sam felt like his sobs had decreased in volume. It seemed like Sam was on the right track, with how to help his brother. Sam peppered Dean’s ear and throat with kisses, before allowing his hand to drift lower.
Gently stroking across Dean’s soft belly, Sam informed him, “I love how soft you are here. I love to taste it and lick it and touch it.”
Laying his hand flat, he felt Dean’s juddering breaths. He just held Dean, breathing, hoping Dean would match his breathes with his. Sam willed calm into his brother. And while the sobs still wracked his body, it also felt like Dean had more control. Sam rewarded him with open mouthed kisses along his shoulder, before allowing his fingers to drift lower. He trailed his fingers lightly over Dean’s skin, missing Dean’s slightly interested cock, instead stopping to massage his inner thighs.
“Love your thighs, Dean,” Sam whispered. “I love how strong they are, how they flex when you ride me. I love how they look in jeans…” Dean’s thigh’s flexed in response to Sam’s words, his breath catching in a slight gasp. It was the first definite sound not associated with crying that Sam had heard in hours.
He smiled his relief, into the back of Dean’s head.
--
Sam kept lightly massaging his brothers thighs, occasionally running his fingers up and along Dean hips. Only when Dean thrust forward (such a tiny movement, but the way Sam was plastered to his brother, there was nothing Dean could do that Sam wouldn’t notice), did Sam finally - finally - placed his hand on Dean’s cock. It was hard now, hot and throbbing in his hand.
“I love your cock, Dean. I love its size, its shape… I love its taste. I love how you feel in my hand…” Sam let his fingers pass lightly across the tip, now weeping precome. Sam gathered it on his fingertips, slowly, gently working it down Dean’s length. “Love how hot and hard you are, Dean.”
Dean’s hips thrust more firmly, and Sam cupped his hand, creating a loose fist for Dean to slide through.
“Wanna come, Dean? Would that make you feel better?”
Dean thrust harder, gasping as Sam squeezed. Sam kept rhythmically squeezing until he felt Dean’s whole body tense, then with a sob Dean came.
--
Unfortunately it set the whole crying process off again.
--
Sam was at a loss. Dean had been crying for hours and nothing helped. Nothing. The only thing he hadn’t done was… oh. But wasn’t that selfish? Was it selfish if it was what Dean needed?
“Sorry, gorgeous. I wasn’t thinking. You never like coming alone. You’re so generous like that.” Sam pressed his lips to Dean’s shoulder, feeling the sobs still wracking his body. “Just one of the ways you are so generous and giving. Since you can’t talk at the moment So… I think you need more than that. I think you need me. Is that what you need, Dean? Need me to open you up, slowly and gently, before filling you up? Fill you up until you can’t think of anything else?”
Although he didn’t verbally respond, Dean pressed back into Sam. Sam took that as a yes.
--
Sam let his hand drift to Dean’s buttocks, feeling the firm curve with the back of his hand.
“You’re so beautiful, Dean.”
Dean cried in response.
Sam gently worked his leg between Dean’s, parting Dean’s buttocks, before running his finger along Dean’s cleft, before dipping to lightly brush a fingers across his hole. Dean probably wasn’t going to react well to Sam leaving the bed to go and get lube, so shrugging to himself he scraped Dean’s come off his hand, working it to his fingertips before softly pushing his come covered finger against Dean’s hole, rubbing in and around until he felt it relax, then with a little added pressure he felt the tip of one finger breach his brother.
“You open so beautifully for me, Dean. Can you feel the way you welcome my finger?”
And it was true. Dean had always opened up to Sam, and it would be so easy to take it from one fingertip to three fingers. But Sam took it slow. Using the one finger to rub around Dean’s rim, feeling it flutter and pulse. Pooling Dean’s come in has hand, pressing it into Dean’s welcoming hole. Only after Dean was loose and maybe, just maybe catching his breath in need rather than distress did Sam slowly add a second finger, once again stretching his brother oh so slowly. Stroking his hot walls, all the while whispering how good, how precious, how wonderful Dean was.
Dean’s primary response throughout all of this was to cry in Sam’s arms. Even after four fingers slowly and surely filled Dean, he still cried into his brothers arms. Sam just laid down kisses and praise and held him tight.
When Sam was certain Dean was loose enough to take him easily, he lifted Dean’s leg, before slotting himself in. He rubbed his cock head over Dean’s loose, puffy hole, not pressing in, just waiting.
Waiting…
Waiting for the slight push of Dean’s hips towards Sam.
And Sam’s patience was rewarded.
“Thank you, Dean.” Sam kissed Dean’s ear, before slowly pushing in, enjoying the firm caress of Dean’s inner walls, enjoying his heat. Enjoying the all-encompassing feeling that was Dean.
Although he didn’t speed up. Sam didn’t stop until he’d bottomed out, balls touching the curve of Dean’s ass.
And then he just waited.
Just felt the way he filled up Dean. Enjoyed the hot and the tight. And allowed Dean to feel the way Sam filled him.
“Always here for you, Dean. Always a part of you.”
Sam didn’t know how long he whispered sweet nothings in Dean’s ear. He just kept stroking Dean’s chest, his other hand rubbing circles along Dean’s inner thigh… He just kept touching his brother, whispering his love until finally - finally! - he felt the sobbing ease. Felt the way his brother relaxed, snuggling back against him.
Sam started to move then. Just small, tiny, miniscule hip thrusts. Just enough for Dean to feel it, to know that Sam was there, to tease at those sensitive points. Sam’s fingers paused as he felt Dean’s cock stir once more. Instead of reaching for Dean’s cock, Sam continued to gently rub his thigh, occasionally allowing his fingers to glance over Dean’s balls. Sam enjoyed the way Dean’s breath caught each time. Sam enjoyed the way Dean’s sobbing slowed as his cock hardened again.
“That’s it. You’re doing so well, Dean. So well taking me like this. It feels so good inside you Dean…”
Sam would have been happy just staying there all night. He didn’t need to get off, but Dean obviously had other intentions…
“Sammy!”
It was the first word Dean had spoken since he started crying hours early. And Sam was going to give Dean everything he asked for. Letting his had fall down to cup Dean’s balls, Sam didn’t allow himself to be rushed. He needed Dean to know how loved he was.
It was only when Dean sobbing was from want, not distress, did Sam move his hand to Dean’s cock. Sam had been ready to come, for what felt like hours, but it wasn’t until he felt Dean spasm in his hand, until Dean’s body shook in his arms, until Dean’s ass squeezed him deliciously tight, did Sam come.
--
It was quite a few moments before Sam realized that Dean has stopped shaking. Completely.
--
Dean’s come covered Sam’s hand and Dean’s belly. Really, Sam should move, get a cloth to clean them both. But he couldn’t. Not yet. Not now that Dean had finally drifted off to sleep, snug and safe in his arms. It could wait. Cleaning up could wait. Sam would just look after Dean tomorrow too.
