majestic_duxk | (no subject)

I think what I miss most about tumblr, is that people actually interacted with me.

I try - I try so hard! - in these other forums, but I have always given out much more than I get back (like comments... *squinty eyes*). On the whole it's not a big deal - it's really not! Or at least... it only is when I am feeling bad anyway. On line has this way of making people, or if we are being specific, me feel invisible.

That is kind of my biggest issue in real life - to feel invisible, boring, unheard.

*ponders*

Anyway, the point of that is I am back to trying to be more engaged again. Maybe some of the problem is I have spread myself so thin. Dreamwidth, LJ, Twitter, Pillowfort, Discord... each taking up time and space. And trying to do them all means I do none.

The thing is, there are some people I only talk to one *one* of those. And I lost enough people when I dropped tumblr. Do I really want to do it again? (actually and FB and email. I can think of two fandom friends I only have on email). siiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Obviously I am feeling low. Some of it is the job search. It's demoralising. So demoralising. All I want to do is stay up late and sleep the day away, but then when I get up late (even if late is 9am or 10am) I feel like I have lost the whole day, because I am actually a morning person.

I am also struggling with writing - this has always been an issue actually, because my writing brain switches on about 10.30pm which is when I actually want to be in bed. Because I need to get up in the morning. *sighs* it's not the only reason I am not getting any writing done, but it is part of it.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow the power is off from 8.30 til 12.30. SO I will walk to where I can drop my compost off (even though I didn't go to the other place today. Just... a 30min walk in each direction is so far, especially when it is raining). So I will go to the place I know, then go and get snacks, and then come home and since I have no internet it will be hard to get sidetracked by things like how to americans pronounce buoy.

I joined skillshare (let me know if you want a code for two free months, or a link) because I desperately want to try acrylic pouring, but what I actually think is going to happen is I will wait until I go home because I don't want to buy a blowtorch just for that. Although if they run a class I will totally sign up. TOTALLY. Ok I got sidetracked - which is half the problem you know. I have so many things I want to do, and I am getting NONE of them done.

ugh.

ok I am just wasting time instead of going to bed. Hope you are all doing well.

Here's hoping tomorrow is positive and (for me) filled with one completed job application and many words.

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big big big hugs. and i get it, when people shifted off of tumblr, it all moved everywhere and I cannot keep up (and I am still on tumblr). I really don't like pillowfort - I haven't given it the fairest shake to be sure but something about it just does not work for me. And discord just has too many voices at once. i don't do well at group chat/posting. i'm trying to be a little more active here with hit or miss results.

I mean I really hated tumblr when it I first got there (and I still complained even when I liked it lol!) but pillowfort just hasn't grabbed me yet.

*nods* it's hard! It's so hard to look after it all in one place let alone many!

I can't even put my finger on why pillowfort doesn't work for me. I think it is just the look of it? i really dislike that box in the corner that shouts at me you follow people who follow you, your mutuals? i find it really off putting.

it is quite out there...

I guess one of the things I don't like is the *appearance* of interactivity. Because it doesn't tell you when someone likes your post. It doesn't tell you when someone reblogs it. And you have to go to the site to find out if someone has commented. It's just... not very user friendly. And I get it's still early days. It doesn't stop them being frustrating days though!

I've been petulant and stubborn about Pillowfort and Discord, et al. I can't do Twitter, and that's apparently where most of my LJ and Tumblr people went. The interface is so confusing it paralyzes me and makes the rest of my day difficult so I don't go there. I had a Discord account, but again, the visual interface is alien and off-putting, and I lost my Pillowfort login and just haven't been arsed to go make another one.

I'm hanging out here, and (still--I'm stubborn) at LJ. Many of my flisties are still there. And I'm also still on Tumblr. I never joined Tumblr for fandom, frankly, it was for the photographs: landscapes, mountains, starscapes, waterfalls, auroras, animals, trees, rocks, plant and flower studies, interiors and architecture. Those things are still there, so my nonverbal visual feast is still available.

If fandom settles somewhere, I'll follow. But I just can't scatter my atoms between nineteen sites. That's not fun.

nah I get it, I get it! stacks of my lj friends ended up on twitter too. It's just... really not easy?

See I loved all that about tumblr too, but. The fact that you couldn't see erotic images but you could still find so much right wing hate... it didn't sit well. Also, I think they lied. because some of the adds... well, if they were on a journal they would get flagged...

Anyway, the point of that is I am back to trying to be more engaged again.

Ditto! Way back in my late teens/early twenties, I used to interact with people a ton on yahoo groups and on message boards, but then somehow I got out of the habit and became a silent lurker for years and years. One of my goals this year is to turn that around and be a human being again online.

So, honest question: Isn't acrylic pouring basically pouring paint? How does a blowtorch fit in? And are you thinking about doing canvases or something else, like tiles or something?

it is... and it isn't. You thin the paint out so that it flows, and then you can mix it or splodge it - if you add silicon oil you can create cells. The first time I watched it I was all, wtf, why is this even a thing, but I just love some of the art that comes out of it. Truly gorgeous!

*nodnodnod* I have issues with feeling ignored and invisible, so it can make it suuuuuper hard. But those are my issues, and it's nicer all round if I, y'know, participate in the experience that I want to have!

Yeah, the pics that showed up on a cursory google search do look very pretty. Good luck with the art project! You should post some photos of your finished work when you get around to it. :)

I absolutely will!

I am also hoping that this will get it out of my system, because I can already tell it's a stupid expensive hobby. I just haven't been able to get it out of my mind!