majestic_duxk | I see a red door

I am having a bad day.

actually, it's not really a bad day, it's more like the culmination of bad months.

I'm just in such a negative headspace, and my upset/angry/frustrated thoughts are just spiralling around.

it makes sense, I know. Mum's health issues. Dad's health issues. My employment issues. I feel like I have no support, and while that isn't exactly true, the feelings are very real.

So I am just... angry. Angry frustrated sad. And I don't want to feel like this, but I also am really struggling with how to kick the crankyness. I'm in a mental/physical/emotional rut, and I keep thinking oh yeah. I'm home! I could start eating healthy. or start exercising. I could improve my drawing skills, or maybe work on Japanese all these things and I end up doing none of them. NONE.

but yeah. I am not in a great space, and I am not being very effective at pushing myself out of it. I am hoping that the sunny weather will help (I hope it's sunny. today was the first day with sunshine in two weeks)

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*hugs you*

It sounds very much like you're having to be the strong one in the family at the moment -- which is not always avoidable, especially when parental health issues are involved -- but it does take a toll and those feelings of having no support are totally understandable. And it's easy to feel like you should be functioning as normal, because after all you're not the one in and out of hospital, but it's actually a lot to carry. Try not to be too hard on yourself, bb, I guess is what I'm trying to say. <33

I see a red door

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